Ad Astra Per Aspera-Through Hardship To The Stars

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Ad Astra Per Aspera-Through Hardship To The Stars

Ad Astra Per Aspera, the Latin phrase meaning “through hardship to the stars,” has been my motto for the past couple of years, as I have faced much adversity in my endeavor of competing as a professional in the sport of triathlon. Of course I anticipated challenges, but certainly not the challenges I have faced. And while the stars were not the stars that I had dreamed of, as I had dreamed of athletic achievements and being a fixture on the podium at professional races,  those stars have turned out to be even better than I could have imagined.

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A Look Back on 2016 and What's Next in 2017

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A Look Back on 2016 and What's Next in 2017

2016 was another trying year. I was still in the cervical collar when I rang in the New Year.  It was a bittersweet moment, as I was happy to leave 2015 behind, but I also felt deflated as I was starting the new year of with an injury. I could not wait to be healthy, and thought that once I was free of that damn C-collar I would be good to go. What a delusion that was! It took me almost a year to feel like my old self again, and this was certainly not for a lack of effort to claw my way back to health and fitness. Much to my dismay, the road to recovery was long and lasted for the duration of my final full triathlon season before I return to medicine. Needless to say, this pursuit did not go as I had hoped it would, and after a great deal of struggle and despair I now feel at peace with what was and what will be.  Sometimes life does not feel fair, but I found it feels much better to embrace the struggle instead of fight it, and to not harbor resentment towards the unfortunate circumstances life throws at me.

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French Creek Triathlon-Back in Action

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French Creek Triathlon-Back in Action

Just a week short of the six-month mark, I raced. Two months ago, I wasn’t sure I’d be racing at all this year, or at least not until much later in the season. Though I had been optimistic over the winter, my confidence dwindled when I stopped making progress, and I wondered if I would ever be the same again, and be able to train and compete at a high level. I contemplated retirement; I looked into going back to school, and even pondered the idea of getting a spot in a residency program this year (a.k.a. starting in a few weeks’ time). Each of these grand ideas stuck around for about a week, because as much as things sucked, and at times made me want to give up, the alternative options just did not seem worth it, so ultimately I chose to stay the course. I just needed to keep on keeping on and hope that eventually something would click, and it would (almost) be like nothing ever happened.

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Life is Just a Series of Challenges-An Update

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Life is Just a Series of Challenges-An Update

Just when I thought things were looking up at the time of my last update, I encountered some more setbacks. A week into March I was plagued with headaches during and after workouts, as well as deep fatigue where sleeping 10 hours a night was not even enough to combat my drowsiness. My training progress came to a halt, and even slid backwards, and I felt as though my body was rebelling against me.  A lab work-up was mostly normal aside from a mildly elevated Cortisol and fairly elevated serum Ferritin, indicating my body was still recovering from the trauma, as Cortisol is a stress hormone and Ferritin is acute phase reactant or marker of inflammation (in addition to a marker for iron stores).  While relieved that there was nothing to treat, I was also frustrated that there was nothing to treat. I almost wanted something to be wrong, because then at least there would have been a reason for why I was hard core struggling, and there would be something concrete to fix.

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How am I doing?

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How am I doing?

It has been 3 months and my life is finally returning to a state of normalcy, after weeks of being primarily homebound, unable to do much besides sit in a recliner chair. I can drive again, so I don’t have to rely on a chauffeur (mom and dad), to take me to work or to doctor’s appointments. More importantly, I am regaining my wellbeing-both physical and psychological, as I am able to run and ride my bike, and I am back in the pool at 5am Master’s swim practice. 

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Giving Back

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Giving Back

After several years of needing to be fairly selfish with my time and energy in order to train and compete at a high level in triathlon while in medical school, I finally have time to give back and pay it forward. Participating in sports has been an integral part of my life since I was a little girl, and I would not have had many of the wonderful experiences or opportunities I have had, were it not for my participation in athletics. I have traveled across the country for races and met so many incredible people, including some of my closest friends who are teammates both past and present. Athletics has also provided me with a meaningful identity, self-confidence, and innumerable other life skills that have helped me to be successful on the track, the race course, as well in the classroom and in my clinical rotations as a medical student.

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Putting the Past Behind Me-Peace out 2015!

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Putting the Past Behind Me-Peace out 2015!

Happy New Year! And I am putting a BIG emphasis on happy. There are probably very few people in the world that are as joyful as I was to say goodbye to 2015, not that I want to turn it into a competition, as that is not exactly one I really want to win. 2015 was a year where loses outnumbered the gains, and by no small margin. Of course I celebrated my achievement of a lifelong dream when I graduated from medical school in May, and I valued my first (abbreviated) season as a professional triathlete, but even these great moments could not really fill the void of all that was lost, let go, and left behind.

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Trying to Tell the Story of a Year with Numbers

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Trying to Tell the Story of a Year with Numbers

For many, a picture is worth a thousand words, but in the data-driven world of science and evidenced-based medicine it is a graph that tells the story of a thousand words. In an effort to objectively tell the story of this past year, I created numerous graphs depicting weekly training hours, number of training sessions per week, and the percentage breakdown of S/B/R during the phases of my training through injury, progression, re-injury, progression, and finally being healthy and training at full volume and intensity.

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Miracle Marigolds

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Miracle Marigolds

I call these flowers my miracle marigolds, as the flowers overcame adversity and came back to life, after being on the brink of wilting away and never displaying their vibrant oranges and yellows ever again. In lieu of training while I was injured, I took up a little gardening to help fill my days; I first planted a half dozen marigolds in two long rectangular containers at the end of May. The beautiful colors brightened the deck and my day, I felt very proud of my mini garden.

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I am not in Kona, and that's OK.

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I am not in Kona, and that's OK.

The social media feeds of triathletes everywhere are being inundated with pictures of six-pack abs, lava fields, and the crystal blue waters of Kailua Bay. It can feel like watching ESPN around the holidays with the endless commercials for luxury cars and diamond jewelry that leave you thinking to yourself, “Haven’t I seen this a million times already?”  With new episodes of Breakfast with Bob coming out every single day and those scenic Korupt Vison photos and videos, for those of us who are not actually there it is easy to feel a little bit of jealousy and FOMO.

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